Put down the Zoloft and back away

OK, Suzyn Waldman, we know you're excited. George opened up the checkbook, tore up the clubhouse rulebook and bought himself a seven-time Cy Young Winner.














I'm sure that the return of the Rocket trumps the 1979 bird-calling championship you won in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, and perhaps even your turn as Dulcinea in Man of La Mancha.



But come on, have some freaking pride. This was perhaps the least Pinstripe Worthy call in the history of Yankee broadcasting:




First of all, the Rocket's a hell of a pitcher, but my esteemed colleague has already established that his True Yankeehood points don't measure up.

Second, the dude is 45 and barely got through six innings most of the time last year. This year, facing AL lineups, is he going to get through more than that? Memo to Doctor Proctor: you're needed in the bullpen, stat. By the way, is this guy making pitching changes when it's Joe's naptime, or is this fellow doing it? Sal in Brooklyn and Jerome in Jersey want to know.

are these his pajamas?

Sure, he'll be better than this guy, but Pettitte is still the ace of the staff at this point...especially since Pettitte's the only one out of the two who actually can be counted on to travel with the team away from the Bronx.

Nice addition by the Boss, but Suzie just lost about 250 TYP in my book. True Yankee Fans would, I am sure, prefer that those sort of histrionics be reserved for the return of either Mo's cut fastball or this guy:






By the way, Suzyn, while you're in the clinic taking care of the manic disorder, could you maybe get a little nip and tuck next door? I'm sure a lot of Yankee fans would be more likely to show up to the park if this or any other one of Captain Dreamboat's denizens of supermodel exes were sitting next to John Sterling...





















Till next time,

- Silk...